I had this conversation with my colleague at office about a lady whose job is saving people where the one who needs to be saved is actually herself.
It is either because she is busy saving people so she forgets to save herself, or she saves people because she knows that she can't save herself, or it's just her way to save herself by saving people.
Working your ass off to build yourself. Preparing yourself for battles. In the end you realize that the greatest enemy is yourself. You are your own undoing. You are the villain but you are also the hero. Facing an uphill battle everyday. Figuring out whether it is the hero or the villain that takes control each day.
Have you ever had a mind that doesn't stop asking ? That doesn't stop questioning ? That doesn't stop assuming ? That doesn't stop worrying ?
That endless thoughts that might require Xanax to stop it. That might require me breaking some stuffs to release it. That might require me throwing anything in front of me just to satisfy the mind.
The most ridiculous part is when the trigger is a trivial thing.
That is ... something that I always avoid from things or people I care about.
I end up oppressing myself from expressing any feelings. From executing any actions.
Because acting like a stone seems better. At least it causes less problem.
