New year's eve

People are so excited to make their resolution list. They make a promise which will be forgotten a month later. I don’t make promise, ‘coz i won’t keep it. Besides, i’m not the man of celebration. So i don’t feel the urge to do new year’s ritual. 

For me, new year mean new trends. New movies coming next summer. But how can i resist when everybody in the world is bombing media with their wish list. It won’t be a crime to participate though.

Considering that 2011 was a tough year for me. My only wish is … the old soul will be replaced by a new one.

Well, one last wish. I wish that won’t fall into the same slope and stop this loop. I’ve been 2 years in the same loop. It’s time to stop. A good thing should be initiated. I should give it a try. I should try to dignify my self.

While the other things such as graduate on February, being selected for The Complete Banker, having a good job which will lead to financial settlement are not wishes. Those are obligation.

BGM : Coldplay - Viva la vida

Nobody

The pieces don't fit anymore

Bandung hujan, tugas menumpuk, dan badan yang kelelahan. Kombinasi pas yang membuat rasa kantuk tidak mau pergi seharian. Entah kenapa sejak kemarin teringat lagu the Moffats dari tahun '90-an yang berjudul "i miss you like crazy". I miss you like crazy, every moment and every day. Hmm maybe i'm missing someone. Maybe. Lucunya ketika bangun tidur karena kelelahan, ada beberapa pesan tidak terbaca di inbox. Yang paling menyita perhatian adalah yang berbunyi "apa kabar ?", sementara yang lain nya aku abaikan. Dengan segera aku jawab pesan nya walaupun menyadari bahwa pemilik account tersebut sudah tidak lagi online. Senyum - senyum sendiri. Seru ya, ketika kita kangen sama orang dan kebetulan orang tersebut muncul menanyakan kabar.

Berjam - jam telah berlalu dan deadline tugas semakin dekat tapi niat untuk menyelesaikan nya tidak sedikit pun bertambah. Tapi, mau ga mau ya harus dipaksa. Bandung masih mendung, bahkan hujan. Sambil mengerjakan tugas, dua lagu terus berputar berulang - ulang dari playlist winamp. "The pieces don't fit anymore" dan "If you don't wanna love me" milik James Morrison. Dua lagu mellow itu cocok didengar saat hujan begini, dan liriknya juga pas. Well, semua lagu favorit pasti dibilang liriknya pas (maksa dipas-pas in sebenernya).  Dengan bantuan dua lagu itu, beberapa halaman berhasil dikerjakan. Tapi masih ada berpuluh - puluh halaman lagi untuk di-translate. Fiuh ...

Sebuah window chat Yahoo Messenger akhirnya muncul dengan isi pesan balasan dari pesan yang aku kirim beberapa jam lalu.

"km kapan lulus dra ?"

 'februari. kalo lancar'

"Mudah-mudahan lancar ya"

Eh ? Dra ? terakhir kali menggunakan nama belakang sekitar ... delapan atau sembilan bulan yang lalu. Setelah itu seterusnya dalam percakapan menggunakan nama depan. Seperti orang - orang pada umumnya. Memory nya lagi random ya ?

You can say i'm living in the past, you can say i'm expecting too much. Tapi penggunaan atau pemilihan kata dan bahasa itu ada sebabnya. Misalnya ketika ada teman yang punya nickname "Je" padahal nama aslinya "radit" , orang - orang memanggil dia "je" tapi aku panggil dia "Radit" karena Je itu mirip nama panggilanku juga. Je sama Radit itu jauh, kenapa harus dipanggil Je ? Tapi alasan utamanya adalah, pada saat itu kita belum terlalu dekat sehingga belum merasa perlu dan nyaman untuk memanggil dia "Je". Tapi setelah sering berinteraksi akhirnya ikut manggil dia Je juga dan terkadang tetap memanggil dia Radit, if i want to alienate him.

Different diction comes with different emotion. When you alienated me, you call my first name. Now you call me with my middle name again. Are you missing me ? or missing the moment that we used to have ? Well, i might be exaggerating tapi menghibur diri sendiri won't be a crime kan ? jadi anggap aja memang begitu. Hehe.

Well, apapun itu. It's glad to know that i can reconcile with my past. Good to know that we don't have to be strangers to one another. That's enough, at least for now.

Oh ya, i gave you a rain check for the lunch. You can use it now loh. LOL

 

30 minutes before the class started

So, is this new Blogger design ? for me it is quite confusing, weird, not that user friendly. I have to take a look at the page several times before i finally found the post button.

Anyway, it is still 30 minutes before my class started. I used to be late for this class but now i'm already here and no one here so i think i can use my spare time to write a post. It's been  a long time i don't make any posts.

This post's theme will be about ... entrepreneurship. That word also became a theme for yesterday. It was started when i attended boot camp for start up technopreneur which was held by Batavia Incubator. I thought that  it's only one day workshop but apparently it's a serious incubation for those who wants to be a start up techno preneur. But i still came anyway just because there were two rounds of pitching. I like the adrenaline rush when i have to present something and being beaten by questions. Surprisingly, i gained the most voters although i was one of the last team to present and i presented my fake project. But at the final pitching i only got the third rank. Nevermind though, the first and second rank team were really great. They had a real project and idea.

The camp ended at 6PM , and i went to the cinema directly with my friends watching The Billionaire. At first, i underrate this movie because i was not really interested when i saw the trailer. I thought it was drama comedy movie about young guy who suddenly become billionaire because of his online game. Apparently it's different. The story is great, i never know that the seaweed snacks i used to see in Circle K or 711 have been through a hard way.  There's a part of the story which reminds me of my experience when my family lose almost everything we had but the difference is i'm not an entrepreneur. Well, everyone has their own way to chase their dream, right ?

There's a lesson that i got from the movie.

Hooker

This is the dream of my 2 hours sleeping from 2am to 4am. In that dream, my dad was a super rich dad. He's the owner of a big company (i don't know what company it is, it's not the focus of the story) who could use his money to do everything he wants.

He apparently believed that i was not a straight guy and not interested in women.  I tried to convince him that it's not true. I didn't even know where he got that idea from. He didn't buy me. He paid and sent a hooker to escort me instead.

I don't really remember how she looks like. Sometimes in a dream, we can't see people's faces clearly. It's just a blur image. But i can assure that she's so aggresive. She's a hooker anyway. That's what she's paid for.


She said that my dad paid her to have sex with me. Gosh, how could i convince him that i still have desire for woman. I want to have sex for sure, but not with hooker. But i couldn't resist. So i just let her doing her job. But still, i didn't  enjoy it. It's gross. Having sex with someone i don't like and she's hooker for God's sake. I don't know how many guys have fucked her. I just  hoped that she doesn't have STD. Ergh, i wanted to throw out. My dad's intervention had gone too far.

I couldn't take it anymore. So i pushed her and asked her to get rid off me. I gave her all of money in my pocket ($700) so she wouldn't come back for more.

When i went to my dad's office to tell him that he didn't need to send me a hooker anymore, that hooker came up with a blackmail. She said that she wanted more money. if i didn't give what she wanted she will leak this information to the media. She asked for 6 million dollars to bribe her.  Seriously ? Where do i get that big money. I know our family reputation is important but it's a big money to be given to a hooker. Ah, my dad's intervention has lead us to this crap.

In a moment of my dilema, i suddenly opened my eyes. It's 4 am. Haaaah Thank God this crap is over.

What a dream.
What a gross dream.