Rumor has it

It's not the first time i get a friend who comes to me with not-really-good-news. Telling me that my other friends have been talking about me behind my back. Trust me, it's not the first time. I've got that a lot. Sometimes i just don't know who is true. It's easy to be affected by that rumor, but i don't even know that is true or not. I decide not to react and not to trust any of them. My only reaction is to exclude them from the list of eligible persons to be trusted. Let the rumor has it. You're nobody until you're talked about.

Mutual Trust, Mood Swing

I put two unrelated phrases on the title because actually i'm gonna talk about two different things but i just don't want to publish two posts at the same time. Since i'm not really in a good mood for working and socializing today, so i decided to write a blog. Maybe it can help me to stabilize my mood.

Let's start with my first point about mutual trust. I believe that friendship is about mutual trust. It's not that we have to know all of our friends' secret but about how we can trust each other. I have seven friends here that have been open to one another. We don't need to conceal our bad sides for we share the common things. There's one of us who is really excited when she asks about our personal life, secret, or whatever that you won't share with common people. She tends to be interrogative when she tries to dig information from us. We all have an agreement that if we want to know about one of us, then everyone should give some things in return. Thus, we will feel safe to share anything we want and we know that our friends trust us. 

She's the one who never be open about her personal stuffs. We didn't recognize it before since she always be the first person who opens the discussion and pushing one of us into the corner. But yesterday, we were just curious and trying to having fun by putting her onto the hot seat and being asked by our interrogative question. The first question, she didn't even answer it. We kept pushing her and she got upset. Somehow that really annoyed us, not because we really wanted to know the answer and she didn't answer it. It's because how she has been so interrogative to us but she got upset even in the very first question. Then we assume that we don't have mutual trust. We should not give it all away to her anymore.

Second thing is about mood swing. I believe that working here can lead to acute mood swing since people here are very moody and the boss has an acute mood swing. He can be very nice one time and he can yell at you several minutes later. The other people here, when they're in a bad mood then they will not talk at all to everyone, even me as their manager.

I came to the office with a very good mood after meeting up with my crush. When i opened my laptop my boss ping me and scolded at me for the task that hasn't been finished yet. While, yesterday he talked to my programmer to relax because the work load is not that full. My conclusion is, never take seriously everything nice that he said because momentarily it will turn into a curse.

While to face those moody people, well, maybe i will try their way not to talk with everyone and using my ear phone with aloud music. Not that i want to impersonate them. I just want them to know how to face this kind of person.

Ex Factor

Dealing with someone who has an ex-issue is not a fun thing. Competing with someone's ex which exists in their memory will never be a fair game.

Blair who finally his prince Louis and almost makes her fairy tale comes true apparently can get over Chuck and she still ends up with Chuck.

Greyson Kent who can't let go his dead-ex-girl friend tried to date his Associate Kim Kaswell until Kim fed up for she can't dating someone who is still crazy about his ex. Then Greyson meet Vanessa and going to get married until Vanessa left him at the altar as soon as she realizes that she can never replace the dead-ex-girlfriend.

An individual is interchangeable. 

Tight Weekend

Finally it's weekend. It's been a long week for me. This week i was supposed to get the project finished by the end of week because the final demo was supposed to be on Friday. My boss suddenly asked the new feature to be added. He always assigns everything suddenly while it's hard for me to estimate the time and resources. In that emergency time, one of my developer was sent to the hospital and should take a bed rest for two days. Her tasks couldn't be handle even though she finally showed up one day earlier. 

On Thursday, i got a sudden call which said that i was invited to HR interview for The Complete Banker program. I was quite surprised because i thought i didn't pass the previous test since i didn't do it well. I said yes when the caller said the schedule is tomorrow. It's at 3 o'clock and she said it would finish on 30 minutes. So it won't take a long time to commute from Kuningan to Sudirman. I could leave the office for a while. But apparently the interview took place at Karawaci which is one and half an hour from my office. So i should leave the office quite long. 

I arrived before 3pm and met three other friends there. They should've been interviewed since an hour ago. It was delayed until almost 2 hours which caused the delay of my arrival to office. I arrived at office at 7pm then my QA said that everything was messed up. We have more bugs on the application, we have flaws on the flow when it was supposed to be ready for the demo. I guess i'll be dead at that time.

Until 10pm there was no hearing from my boss. There's no yelling. So i sent him the status report. At 11pm he pinged me. Asking about the progress of bugs fixing and told me to prepare the build for the demo and upload it. After that i can go home and take a day off on Monday.

We were surprised that he wasn't upset and offered us a day off instead. So we stayed in the office a little longer, it's 1am. Then the boss found some problems and started to chat us with all caps lock.

"kalo Android ada masalah. WEEKEND KALIAN KERJA SEMUA"

Damn, what's with you sir. We've been questioning why were you so nice until you turned out to be the mean one again. Then he asked my phone number. Bad news. My friend said, the last time she got a call, it's 2am in the morning and she cried out loud after ward.

I hope he won't call me this weekend, or ... forever. 

Developers

With a big power comes a big responsibility.

Kadang pengen ngerasain, gimana sih rasanya jadi developer. Di saat - saat menjelang demo gini dan banyak masalah muncul. Stress ? pasti. Tapi at least tau apa yang bisa dilakukan. Bisa begadang untuk cari solusi. Atau berpikir lebih keras.

Tapi sekarang di posisi ini, memang bukan gue sih yang cari solusi. Tapi gue yang bakal kena amuk atasan kalau sampe demo delay lagi. Karena kalau sampai delay atau gagal demo, ya bakal dibilang gue yang bakal demo. Tapi terus kalo developer nya nggak bisa ngerjain, nggak ngerti cara ngerjain nya, salah gue ? 

Bukan sih, salah mereka. Tapi tetep aja gue yang bakal dibantai. Fiuh.

Semoga mereka semua diberikan pencerahan. Or i will be dead. 

Call me irresponsible

All batch 3 students are assigned to a volunteer project to help craftsman improving their business by giving them insight of management, finance, and information technology. I realize that this project is too late since we are all in the last semester or even graduated. It's not time for us to this kind of assignment since we are busy looking for a job or working on our thesis. It should be started since last month but only a few people from my team who are eager to do it sincerely. Most of us don't really care or even don't want to know. I myself haven't got involved in any process because my office hour is quite different than others. Besides i should get my thesis finished this month.

My friend who is supposed to be the leader of the team lightly said "I quit ! This project is crap" when I asked him about visitation schedule. I know he hasn't given much effort for the team. He didn't even attend any single meeting. How could he say that the project is crap ? He is crap. I lost my respect and i didn't ask further.

Two days ago i got an email from a friend who finally took over the leadership of the team. He assigned me to IT division with 3 other guys. The ex-leader, The guy who is known as public enemy because of his bad attitude (let's call him Rude), and the guy who rarely shows up. I got a hunch that the team won't work out. First, because of the ex-leader who is clearly irresponsible. Second, the Rude who will never want to do volunteer job. I probably will end up with working on my own. But somehow i have to manage to make it work.

So i sent a formal email to them containing a brief explanation about the project, about the condition of the team, about why we have to start working this thing out, about our aim, and the most important is about our task. 

As I understand that we are all busy, i try to make the task as simple as possible. 

Although i know that I will be the only one who works on it, but  still have to inform them just in case they can be motivated to participate in the project.

The email is quite long. Then i pressed the Send button.

Finally Rude replied my email. It's only a short sentence.

"Can you please remind me why I should be doing this ?"

FUCK !

I should've known that this low attitude guy doesn't have any empathy. He never comes to our scholarship programs. He always be the latest one who sends academical report or financial request which caused a delay of the other's fund. He is the one who is always sarcastic in responding other's discourse. Once i have ever been in a recruitment process with him and all candidates hated him. This guy doesn't know how to respect people. This guy doesn't even know how to write and respond a formal email. 

There's no way in hell he would do such a volunteer job. No way. Sometimes i wonder why this irresponsible-careless-arrogant guy could be accepted as a scholarship recipient. He has got all the money to complete his bachelor degree and monthly expenses. But he will never give any efforts to contribute to his surroundings. 

Doesn't he remember that he has signed the contract which says that it is obligatory for him to participate in any programs held by the scholarship committee. Oh, he's not that clever to understand the affidavit. 

I swear, I will never be nice to him again. 

Questions

A : am I your type ?
B : am I ?
A : I asked you, why do you ask me back ?

__________________________________________________
A : What are we ?
B : hmm ... What are we ?
A : why do you always answer my questions with another one ? So, What's the answer ?
B : What do you expect ?

FUCK !

Waltz horror

I'm not a big fan of indie music. So, for some people this topic must be so last year. But whatever. Since a month ago one of station radio from Bandung, which i always listen to from streaming in my office, has been broadcasting their anniversary promo. They mention the guest stars who will perform at the event. One of them is Sarasvati. From the clip of their song, i heard that her music is kind of waltz or something. But what makes me interested is the song sounds horror. I don't know, there's a tone or an instrument that makes the song sounds horror.

So, i googled her. Apparently she's an ex-vocalist of Homogenic. I find the track of her album then i download The Story Of Peter without having a clue about the song. It's a different song with the one played in the promo, it but yes, it's waltz and has a sense of horror. Besides, the lyric is about a little ghost named Peter who used to be her imaginary friend.

I was still curious and downloaded another song. Bilur. The lyric is in Bahasa. I don't fully understand the song but it's even more horror, moreover with combination of sundanese traditional instrument and sinden.

One more song which becomes my favorite is Fighting Club. It's not that horror but still dramatic. Well, almost all of her songs are dramatic. I mean, not merely a song but it builds a dramatic atmosphere.

So, i keep hitting repeat-peat-peat-peat.

Neutral

For the first time after a few weeks, i finally felt that i'm engaged to my team. Yes, I never was their number one fan. They are sort of people that i didn't to talk since my first day at the office. Being their APM is a challenge somehow because it means that i have to manage them, communicate with them. I need to maintain a good relationship with my developers. I believe that approachment should be done slowly, i can't force it. 

Apparently, going through something together can make us closer. In that hectic condition, they learn to recognize me as their leader and i learn to set aside the thoughts that they are not from my circle and I don't have to be close to them. 

Well, i'm glad that i can forget my personal aversion on them while i'm working with them. Being neutral. 

3 Rules

This is an office, not school. I'm here to work not to make a colony.

That's what i thought when i found that there are so much drama around. I really enjoy having some gossips to talk about during lunch time. You might think that this is unimportant thing. But for me, hearing what people think about the other, their aversion, what they don't like, it can broaden my vision about my surroundings. It's not for my judgement. Because i judge with my eyes.

So, as the gossip has gone too far. Scheming and intrigue makes this office look like a high school. Everyone keeps hatred to another. It's like a silent war, but it is so obvious. Maybe it's because we're all in the same age, so yes, it feels like in a class instead of workstation.

The boss had come from U.S yesterday. He's going  back to U.S next week for 3 months. He asked all employees to gather in 9th floor. I had a feeling that he would talk about this problem. Then yes, at first he talked about his trip to US. Then ..

"Gue kan mau pergi ke US. Dan pergi nya lama. Jadi selama gue ga di kantor, kantor yang megang P dan K."

Hmm Okay ...

"Dan gue mau bilang. kita ini satu tim. Mau lo di luar punya kelompok sendiri, mau lo di luar saling benci, bantai - bantaian. Gue ga peduli ! Tapi di dalem kantor ini kalian harus satu tim. Walaupun kalian satu tim sama orang yang ga kalian suka, Lo harus professional! Kalo ga, tim ini bisa pecah."

So he has heard about the issues in the office. I was wondering who told him about this. The one who told him about it, they're even worse than high schooler. Why ? as much as i don't like my team, i still be nice to them at office. Yes, i don't talk to them outside. But i don't know about the other. Maybe they're not good enough to hide it.

"Dan gue punya 3 rules yang harus kalian ikutin supaya tim ini ga pecah. satu, DON'T KNOW ANYTHING = DON'T DO ANYTHING. ..."

"... lo itu ga mungin tau isi pikiran 100%. Jadi jangan suka berasumsi. Dan karena lo ga tau semuanya, kalo lo denger tentang seseorang atau masalah orang, lo jangan ngomong - ngomong ke temen lo. Ga usah ngurusin masalah orang, walaupun itu temen lo. Jangan manas - manasin temen lo, padahal lo ga tau apa - apa. Sama ama kerjaan. Kalo lo ga tau mau coding apa, ga usah ngoding. " 

 "yang kedua, UNFOLLOW / UNFRIEND. Kalo lo ga suka sama orang. ya udah, unfollow aja atau unfriend. Ga usah follow atau friend ama orang itu cuma buat ngikutin gossip tentang dia ! Buat apa lo jadi friend orang yang ga lo suka"

Hahahaha, that's funny. I mean, is there someone who follows their enemy just to follow their gossip ? well, yes, i know there is. Lame. Anyway, I don't friend or follow anyone in my team and i don't any urges to do.

"yang ketiga, JANGAN DI OFFICE ! kalo lo mo ngerumpi atau ngegosip tentang orang sepuas lo, terserah! tapi jangan di office. Jauh - jauh dari sini. Di cafe keq, di mana keq, asal jangan di kantor ini. Karena nanti orang yang ga tau pun, jadi tau."

See ? It more sounds like a teacher to his students. LOL.