No more hanging out on Saturday Night

Jadi sabtu malam kemarin gue cerita nya masih pengen ngopi, tapi ga tau tempat di Jakarta yang enak dimana to enjoy my solitary moment. Dan sepertinya nggak ada yah, since this city is just too crowded. Jadi mungkin gue bisa sekedar nonton aja, kebetulan sore nya baru aja liat trailer film nya Justin Timberlake sama Amanda Seyfried [kalo ga salah nulis], In Time,  dan gue penasaran. Atau ya sekedar makan dan ngobrol - ngobrol aja lah di tempat yang comfy. Tapi sama siapa ? soalnya gue agak males jalan sendiri di Jakarta, males di jalan nya sih. Dan yang lagi available kayaknya temen gue yang bernama P dan T.

Gue mencari cara yang halus untuk ngajak mereka jalan, karena kalo obvious banget gue ngajak mereka cuma buat jalan dan ngobrol - ngobrol itu jarang berhasil. Karena salah satu nya bukan tipe yang suka jalan sih dan gue juga kalo nggak kepepet - kepepet amat ga akan jalan ama mereka [eh]. Eh, akhirnya gue menemukan kalimat yang tepat.

"Eh, kita ... belajar yuk. Belajar di luar gitu. sambil jalan atau makan dimana gitu"

Dan tanggapan mereka sangat antusias. Seriously, mau ngajak jalan mereka aja harus pake modus belajar segala. By the way, it's Saturday night and who on earth wants to study on sanite ya, sorry guys i lied haha.

Lalu kita pergi menuju ke tempat rekomendasi si P jam 7 malam. And guess what ?  macet gila, dua jam perjalanan belum sampai padahal cuma di Kebayoran Baru aja [gue berangkat dari Binus]. But that's okay, namanya juga malam minggu pasti macet. Yang bikin bete adalah ternyata kita gak nemu tempatnya dan temen gue T nyeletuk "udah deh nggak usah, kita pulang aja.". Gue menanggapi nya dengan tenang "kenapa ? pulang ?" padahal dalam hati udah setengah mati nahan emosi jiwa dan berteriak ... APAAAAAAA ?? PULAAAANG ? MENURUT LO ??!!!! UDAH DUA JAM BER MACET-MACET TERUS LANGSUNG PULANG GA NGAPA2IN ? tapi gue urungkan niat untuk berteriak seperti itu, kalo tiga kali lagi dia bilang gitu baru gue akan lepas kendali dan teriak seperti itu.

Kami terdampar di bilangan Blok M. Bingung mau makan dimana di situ. Gue ga peduli, pokoknya tempatnya harus comfy dan gue bisa duduk lama di situ. Ketika lagi jalan, tiba - tiba mereka manggil gue

"jar, mau baso nggak ?"  

Ok what's next ? baso ? jam 10 malem ? disaat gue lagi mengidamkan gala dinner. Kemudian gue menengok ke arah tempat yang mereka tunjukkan dengan sangat malas dan berat hati. Terlihat sebuah depot baso yang jelas - jelas sudah mau tutup.

"itu kan udah mau tutup" , tanya gue dengan nada kesal ditutup - tutupi.

Dalam hati gue menjerit. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ??? DUA JAM KEJEBAK MACET DAN PAKE NYASAR SEGALA CUMA BUAT END UP MAKAN BASO ? KALO MO BASO SIH DI CAFE SIANG MALAM DEKET KOST AN JUGA LEBIH ENAK !

Apa boleh buat, satu lawan dua tetap lah kalah. Gue memesan es buah dan siomay dengan wajah yang muram. Dan sialnya itu siomay udah dingin dan kol nya udah basi. Gue diam seribu bahasa walaupun mereka ngobrol - ngobrol ga jelas. Pokoknya gue ga mau ngomong. Titik. Ga lama temen gue P ngomong ...

"Jar, ayo kita mulai belajar"

Gue tidak menjawab, hanya membalas dengan tatapan 'please deh'. Dan dia memaksa.

"Ayo dong Jar, kita belajar nih kan udah dapet tempat nya"

Kenapa sih lo nggak suruh gue euthanasia aja sekalian ? gue tidak menggubris mereka. Sibuk memikirkan mau kemana setelah ini.

 "Pulang aja deh, nanti udah malem kita ga tau mau pulang pake apa" kata T ketika gue memulai diskusi tentang kemana kami akan pergi setelah ini.

Hello ... that's what taxis are for. Mo pulang  ? pulang aja sendiri. Gue belum puas ! anyway, bukan nya gue sok-sok gimana ya, atau mendiskreditkan makan bakso. Tapi malam itu gue sudah melewatkan 2 acara favorit gue, bermacet ria selama 2 jam, nyasar naik bus yang nggak proper. At least gue deserve lah a decent refreshment. Lalu gue ajak mereka nonton midnight aja. Dan Thank God, gak ada yang protes. Yang protes buang di jalan aja.

Sampai di FX, P ingin nonton Real Steel, T pengen Johny English, Gue ? udah jelas kan niat gue memang mau nonton In Time. Jadi ya gue ga tau gimana caranya pokoknya harus jadi nonton In Time. Dan tiket pun sudah dibeli. Kelihatan nya kedua temen gue pun tidak keberatan, mereka cukup exciting nonton film dari awal. Sampai di tengah - tengah film, T nyeletuk dengan polosnya

"Jar, mister bean nya mana ?"

Gubrak ! Speechless, maaf mas, sepertinya anda salah masuk studio. Errrr.

Lesson learned. Pada saat weekend, nonton acara TV favorit di kost an sendirian ternyata jauh lebih menghibur daripada terjebak kemacetan menuju tempat yang nggak pasti. Dan ... jalan sendirian itu jauh lebih baik daripada jalan dengan orang yang tidak tepat.

Sekian.

Dramatic Distraction

Being busy is fun, seriously. It's nice to know that i can make everyday productive. But sometimes it is stressful though and i can't control my emotion when pressures come from here and there. My human nature also makes laziness dominate my mood but it doesn't last long until i can get myself back. It was started when i really need distraction 8 months ago. When doing nothing feels so hard and killing me softly. I spent my day and night doing freelance job and now i'm getting used to it. At least i can earn myself an extra income every months.

But nowadays when distraction is inevitable, i find it hard to start working. My gadget keeps bugging me. Smart phone, Notebook, Social networks, TV. I open at least 5 tabs on my browser while working. Two tabs for work, and the rest are for facebook, twitter, and youtube. I check them regularly every several minutes. When i'm getting focus on my work, my cell phone ringing or it's the time for my favorite tv shows to broadcast. At first, i keep finding the way to avoid the distractions. But then i think i will just working with distractions. It's ok for me to be distracted as long as it doesn't stop me from trying to work. It is okay to keep connected to social networks, as long as i still work constantly.

I really enjoy these busy days.

Over 30's

This is not a story. It's just another moment on another day when boredom fills my head. It's 11.20PM and i still don't want to sleep. Sleepless night has become an addiction and i'll do anything to stay up till morning. Coffee and talk are the things that can keep me up, but drinking instant coffee in my own room is just boring besides people have gone to bed already. I guess going out to find a place where i can get both things is the last resort.

There is a place called "Over 30's" where i can enjoy a cup of coffee or two. I don't know why this place is called like that. Maybe most of the customers who come are over 30's. One thing that also unique from this place is most of the visitors are men. I have no idea whether all women already sleep at the time like this or this place is for men only. Whatever, i just need coffee and someone to talk to tonight. I come and order an iced coffee.

Some tables are already reserved while the rest are still unreserved. I choose a table where there is already a man sitting on one of the corners. Well, the reason i come here is to drink coffee and have a talk so i find my partner. He has a middle-east face. I guess his age is two or three years older than me.

"May i join ?" , i said to the man and he just nodded.

He keeps moving his head while listening music from his phone but he can still hear me talking to him.

"What you've been doing here ?" i ask again. 

"just looking around" he said."

 "What have you got ?"

 "Nothing"

"Are you from middle-east ?"

"What ? No, it's just my face. But i am native " chuckles. 

He tells me that his actual age is 29. Still being here because he has insomnia and he has his own business so he doesn't need to worry about waking up late in the morning because he makes his own office schedule. He tells me that he wants to take another bachelor degree because he wants to be a doctor. His parents are willing to afford the educational fee as long as he wants to marry immediately. But he refuses, he doesn't want to marry yet because he's not ready to share his life with another person.

We talk a lot about music. It is started when he asks me "Do you like songs ?". That's a weird question i guess. It is supposed to be "Do you like music ?" but i get what he means anyway. He laughs at me when i'm showing him my current playlist. It's kind of outdated. Then he fills me in with music updates. He introduces me to New Age music by giving one song from Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack and he introduces me one song while he is leaving. Song from Lilly Allen titled who'd have known.

"It's 2 o'clock in the morning. Conversation got boring. It's 2 o'clock in the morning. conversation got boring" he sings the lyrics but i know this is a satire.

"Well, ok. Our conversation is getting boring. So, are you leaving ?" i ask.

"Yeah. I leave first. Thanks for the talk dude. See you around"

It's 2 o'clock in the morning. Conversation got boring.

***************** 

Another day at the same place. Now i'm having a talk with a real over 30's guy. He works in one company as business analysts. I introduce myself as computer science student who is used to working as a freelance programmer.

 "So, how does it feel to be 30 something ?" i ask a random question while taking a gulp of cofee.

"It feels great. I enjoy every second of my life. You just live once right ? so you better make the best of it. I never think about what could i've been or what i've been. No regrets, just let it flow"

"Yeah. Life is too short to regret"

"And how do you feel to be twenty something ?" he asks me back.

"Have you ever heard about twenty something syndrome ?"

"They never mentioned that. But from what i have experienced, it's like clueless. You don't know which way to go because you just transfer from teenager to adulthood"

"INDEED ! transition is never easy. I just don't know where to start"

We drag the conversation more into a career talk. I tell him that i ever lost my passion in computer science and want to work in other fields but now i get my passion back. I want to work as a database administrator but unfortunately i have signed a contract with one private bank and i have to work there for four years unless i pay a penalty for the cancelation. He gives me suggestion before leaving the place.

"Look, i am very tired now. I think i have to sleep. Too old to stay up till late hehe. This is an advise from thirthy something guy. You're still young and you still have much time to develop your skill. Choose a job which suits your passion. Just follow your passion. Ok, good luck"

I take a gulp of coffee which is running out. My passion, what is my passion actually ?

There are still a lot of talks with the over 30's. I share about career and work to most of them. Most of them have had a good position in their offices and all of them said that i have to know my passion. I have to know myself first. What is my strength, what is my weaknesses, what i like, what i dislike. This is what i like from having conversation with over 30's guy. They can share their experience and give me advises. Wish i have another nice and valuable talk.

The cost of truth

Weekend kemarin gue pulang ke Bandung dan bertemu dua teman yang niat nya adalah untuk have fun, ngopi, dan karaoke. Tapi ternyata setelah nya gue tidak merasa ter-refreshed justru kepala gue jadi penuh karena hal - hal yang dikatakan oleh kedua teman itu. Sebut saja nama mereka R dan A.

R, menceritakan beberapa hal tentang gue dan tentang teman - teman gue. Beberapa hal gue rasa itu benar karena tetapi sebagian besar terasa ada yang janggal dari cerita - cerita nya. Gue adalah orang yang nggak mudah dihasut sama orang karena gue lebih percaya observasi sendiri daripada berita yang nggak jelas reliability nya. Sepulang bertemu mereka, gue confirm cerita - cerita tersebut ke orang yang bersangkutan dan ternyata apa yang dikatakan R tersebut semuanya bohong. Fitnah. Nggak habis pikir, orang yang selama ini sudah kita bantu dan kita bela - belain justru malah memfitnah kita. I will never trust him again. I've lost my respect for him.

Setelah R yang menjejali kepala gue dengan fakta palsu, sekarang giliran A yang memberi sebuah pertanyaan yang sebenernya gue tau dia nggak bermaksud apa - apa apalagi menyinggung, tapi somehow pertanyaan itu bener - bener menantang logika gue. Gue paling nggak suka orang nanya hal itu sama gue, karena seberapa kerasnya gue berusaha jelasin, mereka nggak akan ngerti. Akan susah untuk berbicara dengan orang mengenai point of view kita tanpa mendapatkan judgement, bahkan dengan orang paling netral sekalipun. Apalagi soal ini.

Akhirnya gue cuma jawab, ga usah mengkotak-kotakkan orang, menyamakan mereka berdasarkan label. Meskipun mempunyai label yang sama tapi semua orang terlahir berbeda daripada yang lain. We are unique.

Gue pulang dengan bermacam pertanyaan di kepala, bahkan saat ini isi kepala gue masih belum terdefragmentasi.

Gue pengen punya lingkungan yang normal. No offense, gue nggak mendiskreditkan orang - orang dengan kekurangan mereka karena gue sendiri pun ga sempurna. Tapi somehow gue pengen merasakan how it feels being surrounded by people with normal life. I'm sick of these things. The abnormality. Or it is the world being insane.

The feelings when i knew that my friends are pregnant before they're married, when my friend told me that she's lost her virginity, when my friends told me that they have sexual disorientation, etc.

I never look down on them. I respect them. They're friend of mine.

But they're all much better than one person who were considered as a friend but apparently no more than big fat liar.

After all, i can't trust no one.

PDA

Jadi ini cerita tentang kelompok skripsi gue.
Sebut saja namanya JL , YY (nama samaran, diperankan oleh model). Sebelumnya gue pernah sekelompok kerja praktek sama JL dan AA. AA itu cowo nya JL dan mereka itu sukaaaaa banget PDA dimana - mana. Di jalan, di angkot, di transjakarta, di kantor saat nunggu meeting, di ... perpus saat ngerjain paper. Kebayang nggak sih gue selalu jadi obat nyamuk setiap kali kumpul kerja praktek.

Nah sekarang, si AA itu nggak sekelompok skripsi sama gue. Thank God. Gue pikir hidup akan lebih tenang tanpa gangguan orang - orang pamer kemesraan di depan gue. Tapi ternyata oh ternyata ... setiap kumpul skripsi dan meeting ke kantor, si AA itu pasti ikut. Dan tentunya mereka sibuk PDA setiap waktu. Nempeeeel melulu. Orang - orang sampe pada liatin. Koq jadi gue yang malu ya, padahal yang PDA mereka.

Karena kesel, gue SMS temen gue tentang PDA ini untuk meluapkan ke-risihan gue. Lalu dia cerita tentang kuliah nya beberapa hari kemarin ternyata dosen nya membahas tentang PDA. Dan dosen nya bilang "well-educated people will think a thousand times before they do PDA. Only people who are not well-civilized-educated people who will do PDA". HEAR HEAR ! ah tapi so far mereka educated people.

Contoh lain adalah salah satu temen gue, sebut saja DP. Walaupun tidak di depan mata gue langsung, tapi cara PDA dia cukup mengganggu. Di twitter ! Dia sering banget tweet - tweet sama cowo nya semacam ...

DP : sayaang banget sama my lovely @DD , semoga kita bisa bla bla bla

DP : dinggiiiin. coba ada my lovely @DD ..

DP : abis ngerjain bab 1 sama my lovely @DD ... makasi ya honey.



EWH .... GROSS ... !!!! Apa sih tujuan nya kayak gitu ? kan bisa kali lewat SMS aja ngomong nya. lebih private dan direct juga kan. oh ... pamer ???

Gue bilang begini bukan nya sirik ya. Tapi seriously, kalo orang pacaran depan gue sewajarnya sih gue juga ok ok aja. Tapi kalo nggak tau tempat gitu, di tempat umum. Ya ganggu kenyamanan juga kali. Suka kasian aja, seolah mereka nggak punya waktu private dan intimate buat bermesraan berdua aja.

Get a room please !

Losing the old one and get a new one

My beloved HP 520 notebook has been repaired in HP service center for more than 3 weeks. The LCD display is not working and the replacement cost is quite expensive. It got me unproductive for a week. I had to do borrow my friend's notebook for assignment and it hamper me in working on my thesis.

This notebook has been a friend of mine since 3 years ago. Maybe it's just a matter of time because it's been too old. Considering it is an old product, i decided to buy a new one instead of repairing the old one. Now i've got Lenovo ideapad Z360-9372 on my desk. It's smaller and definitely more shopisticated.

Using a brand new notebook is like starting a new life [exaggerated] because the memory is still empty and i have to install the programs from zero. I stil like my old notebook though, it has been my company in good or bad. In work or fun and not to mention becoming a dead-witness for some turning points in my days. But notebook is a notebook anyway, i just can back up the files to my new notebook. So i will not lose any pieces of memory that i've had.

Sorry HP 520 i have to leave you. Nothing lasts forever. Now i gotta move on to my new notebook.

#NP Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate.

Well, i've been exaggerating.