MOVE

And Finally I decided to get out of the closet.
I mean, I want to publish my blog again.
So I need to be picky in writing content.

That's why I decided to move the blog to :

http://solilokuy.blogspot.com


Well, not sure that I still have a reader of this blog, but I do hope there is.
So please access the new blog instead :).

I Want A Baby !

When I was having my dinner at one of my favorite junk food resto (Yes. I love junk food. It's cheap and sinfully delicious) there was a lovely family sitting near the balcony. They had a very lovely baby, who kept smiling and laughing every time his dad feed him,  the mother wore a head scarf. A happy young family.  I wonder if the dad took the wrong dip and feed his son with chili sauce, would the baby still laugh ?

Not far from my table there was a couple (at least, they look like one) who were also hypnotized by the view of that happy family. 

The guy, while keep staring at the baby, said "Babe, ... I want a baby."

His partner looked a little bit shocked and put down the chicken wings that they're eating.

"Oh, well ... that's ... a progress."

"But not from you ... " He stared at his partner deeply then threw his sight to the baby again.

"Ok. Is it me or the chicken wings suddenly feel too spicy ? You want a baby ? fine. Buy it somewhere, find it in ACE hardware or post an ads on Amazon. Someone might have a second hand baby or sell a DIY baby. Second, you want a baby ? It's obviously not from me. What do you think I am ? Arnold Schwarznegger ? It must be from some random women whom you sow your seed into. Or call Jolie to get you a baby from those poor countries. But it's obviously not from me ! and you don't need to emphasize it by saying 'BUT NOT FROM YOU'. That's ... ANNOYING! "

The guy was still looking at the baby. And yes, he's still laughing while his father fed him.

The White Hat

My head is still dizzy after waking up on a dream that makes my heart beats fast. There's nothing in the dream but these numbers popped up in my head : 25, 26, 27. Not sure what it means but I feel terrorized by the number. I gotta meet Stephen today. The guy is a snob but I always come to him when I feel wary. He always wears a white hat. He is already there when I arrived. On the corner of the coffee shop where we I usually meet.

"Late, as usual." , He said cynically while shipping his coffee. I try ignore that.

"You look awful. Did you have a nightmare ?"

"No."

"Lying ...."

"Ok, stop. That is now what I come here for."

"Okay, so ... what do you want ?"

I pause our conversation as the waiter comes to take my order. I order espresso with triple shot caffeine. It might work to ease my hangover. We resume our talk as he fades behind a bar preparing my order.

"I want to start all over again. I want a new life. I want a new identity."
"No, you don't."
"I'm serious."
"That's impossible David."
"It is not that hard for you."
"Oh really ? So what are you gonna do after I give you your life, your new identity ? Mess up with it, then runaway so I am the one to clean it up ? Oh I'm so done with it. You have ruined too many things and we are the one who clean it up for you. We do the butcher work. You are not supposed to be the executor. You should be staying there behind the bar so your stupid impulsive self will not create any mess again."

Stephen said that with an angry face in one breathe without blinking. He is very mad.

"I wanna fix this."
"You should ! But new identity is too much at a stake. You can't handle it and I don't want to take a risk. Look, we might be able to delete your records but a better life ? You gotta earn it ! Forget about what's been deleted, wear your white hat again and start fixing everything. What happened between now and then is not your concern. Consider it handled. Otherwise, you want to stay there behind the bars and not allowed to show up at all. You live there alone, in the darkness. And no one, not even me, can help you get out of there 'coz you have made the mess that is too much for me to fix."
"But ..."
"I'm telling you, I'm not negotiating. So you better go take some responsibility and wear the white hat."

I leave Stephen there without paying the bill. He will take care of it. I take the white hat but not wear it yet. I will some time, some day, I don't know when but I will.