My head is still dizzy after waking up on a dream that makes my heart beats fast. There's nothing in the dream but these numbers popped up in my head : 25, 26, 27. Not sure what it means but I feel terrorized by the number. I gotta meet Stephen today. The guy is a snob but I always come to him when I feel wary. He always wears a white hat. He is already there when I arrived. On the corner of the coffee shop where we I usually meet.
"Late, as usual." , He said cynically while shipping his coffee. I try ignore that.
"You look awful. Did you have a nightmare ?"
"No."
"Lying ...."
"Ok, stop. That is now what I come here for."
"Okay, so ... what do you want ?"
I pause our conversation as the waiter comes to take my order. I order espresso with triple shot caffeine. It might work to ease my hangover. We resume our talk as he fades behind a bar preparing my order.
"I want to start all over again. I want a new life. I want a new identity."
"No, you don't."
"I'm serious."
"That's impossible David."
"It is not that hard for you."
"Oh really ? So what are you gonna do after I give you your life, your new identity ? Mess up with it, then runaway so I am the one to clean it up ? Oh I'm so done with it. You have ruined too many things and we are the one who clean it up for you. We do the butcher work. You are not supposed to be the executor. You should be staying there behind the bar so your stupid impulsive self will not create any mess again."
Stephen said that with an angry face in one breathe without blinking. He is very mad.
"I wanna fix this."
"You should ! But new identity is too much at a stake. You can't handle it and I don't want to take a risk. Look, we might be able to delete your records but a better life ? You gotta earn it ! Forget about what's been deleted, wear your white hat again and start fixing everything. What happened between now and then is not your concern. Consider it handled. Otherwise, you want to stay there behind the bars and not allowed to show up at all. You live there alone, in the darkness. And no one, not even me, can help you get out of there 'coz you have made the mess that is too much for me to fix."
"But ..."
"I'm telling you, I'm not negotiating. So you better go take some responsibility and wear the white hat."
I leave Stephen there without paying the bill. He will take care of it. I take the white hat but not wear it yet. I will some time, some day, I don't know when but I will.
"I want to start all over again. I want a new life. I want a new identity."
"No, you don't."
"I'm serious."
"That's impossible David."
"It is not that hard for you."
"Oh really ? So what are you gonna do after I give you your life, your new identity ? Mess up with it, then runaway so I am the one to clean it up ? Oh I'm so done with it. You have ruined too many things and we are the one who clean it up for you. We do the butcher work. You are not supposed to be the executor. You should be staying there behind the bar so your stupid impulsive self will not create any mess again."
Stephen said that with an angry face in one breathe without blinking. He is very mad.
"I wanna fix this."
"You should ! But new identity is too much at a stake. You can't handle it and I don't want to take a risk. Look, we might be able to delete your records but a better life ? You gotta earn it ! Forget about what's been deleted, wear your white hat again and start fixing everything. What happened between now and then is not your concern. Consider it handled. Otherwise, you want to stay there behind the bars and not allowed to show up at all. You live there alone, in the darkness. And no one, not even me, can help you get out of there 'coz you have made the mess that is too much for me to fix."
"But ..."
"I'm telling you, I'm not negotiating. So you better go take some responsibility and wear the white hat."
I leave Stephen there without paying the bill. He will take care of it. I take the white hat but not wear it yet. I will some time, some day, I don't know when but I will.
No comments:
Post a Comment