Plausible Deniability

Do you ever badly want to do something but your mind says no ?

I'm feeling this. Actually, since more than a week ago i face this fight. A fight between my heart and my mind. Both are strong. The heart is getting stronger late at night and early morning. But when i start the day with my activities, the mind is getting stronger.

I have a lot of justifications to win what my heart wants. Just ignore the thoughts. But what how will i feel afterwards ? will i be better ? will i be worse ?

Then my mind tells me. It is not a time for gambling. You gamble too much. It is the time to use your logic and solve the problem. Analyze the condition, finding the fact, prove your hypotesis and solve the problem. When you don't know it gives you a betterment or not. You better not to take the risk.

I know i'm smart and strong as well. I will never let my heart win over my brain. This is not a game where you can restart when it's game over.

I should hear my mind. I better not do that. I better neglect my heart wants.

It is ... plausible deniability.

I believe it's for a greater good. Just like changing behavior. It will never be easy. There will be a point when you really want to quit.