Love it love it not

Have you ever had something that you love most but it turns out to be something that you're afraid of ?
You still love it but in the other way you keep avoiding it.
It's like Bonnie [Miley Cyrus] in The Last Song. She used to play piano, she loves it so much. But she stop playing piano because of one or other thing. She always avoids everything related to piano.

That's the way i feel about debate.
I just don't understand. It's just debate hello. It's just a thing that you used to do but you don't do it anymore.
Why should i take it hardly.

On the other side of my days.

I've been through 2 interviews in these 4 days. I failed the first interview. He said that he didn't have any problem with my english. It's just he can't feel the chemistry during the interview session. Gosh, was i having an interview or dating. Well , what's done it's done. Although it is my first time being rejected, i won't keep drowning in this disappointment.

So i through another interview. I was given a written test and the employer said that the result is great. Then he asked me to do teaching demonstration. Because i hadn't prepared any material, so i delivered debating material. He said it was quite good. He gave several offer. He would accept me but i should join a training, and for that training i should submit my original certificate or money 2.5 million rupiahs. It will be a deposit during my 2 years contract.

OH BIG NO NO. I'm looking for a temporary job, not a permanent job nor even a course.

I wonder why i have bad luck this year. It was never hard to get a job before.
But may be it is a God's plan. Maybe i am not supposed to get a job now. I always know what is the best for me. But He knows more what is best for me.

What's done is done.
I've done my effort and the decision is in His hands.