God is a director

God is a director and i'm just His actor. I have to play my role as good as i can. Everything has been written in lauhul mahfuz rite ? Since how i was born till how i will die. Those have been written. And between the birth and death there are so many choices. I have ability to choose every options that i want. But i'm responsible for the result that will be generated by those option. The judge of the result itself is not me. But Him. What's good for me maybe not good for Him. And i have to follow His judgement because i'm only the actor.

God, today i have followed what You want. To do the thing which is really hard for me to do moreover the thing hurts someone else. But i know i have to do this someday, the longer i stay the harder i leave. And i guess this is the right time. It really hurts and tore me so much. But i take this as my sacrifice for, God. What's really hard for me is the reality that there is someone will be hurt. But again, i'm responsible for the result of my choice. At this time i have to be selfish to only think about what's best for me through the right decision. I realize there's no war without victim. Sometimes we cannot get win-win solution. Sometimes the casualties is inevitable.

I have done my job to follow Your command. Can  You please now help me to give what i need. Please give me strength to get through this. Send me friends to support me. And ... take care of those people God. They are all a good people.

You're the one who created life and love in the very first place. You're also the one who can erase it.