It's all about the money

I hate to be in this condition. A deadlock condition which can't generate a solution for all parties.

Here is the thing. Several months ago i lend my money to my friend because he hasn't earned the salary from his employers. So i lend him my money in a quite big amount. I said that , anytime i need the money you should give it back to me. I'm not a man who can easily refuse someone who ask me a favor. If at that time i can help them so i'll help them. But the problem always comes later. It's been a month but he still hasn't earned the money. The next month the thing didn't change. There's no use for me to wait for the money.

Today, i think my laptop is dying. It suddenly shut down because of overheat. It happen more than once. I should bring my laptop to the service center in a very moment before more collateral damage happen. But hello, it's 20th of the month. I run out my money. All have been allocated for daily needs. It means i have to wait until the next month to get my laptop repaired. I don't even know whether my laptop can survive until next month or not.

It seems unfair.When people ask me a favor i always try my best to give all i can. But when i'm in need, seems  no one can pull me from this hole. I am not social worker.

I am so tired of these things. Managing my financial stuffs. Setting daily quota for food allocation. Cooking rice by myself. Wash the dishes. Trying to save every single money that i can set aside while people wasting their money. While people spending my whole living cost money only for paying their room.

I AM SO SICK AND TIRED !!!!!!!!!!!