Soliloquy

me : "wake up !"
me : "what ?"
me : "lo udah istirahat terlalu lama, orang lain sudah berjalan jauh"
me : "Udah terlambat, gw ga akan bisa ngejar mereka"
me : "ga ada yang nggak bisa lo kejar. You can get all what you want. remember ?"
me : "they're just great, i just don't know how to defeat them"
me : "maybe i was great, but now i'm just another person or maybe i was never great"
me : "why do you think so ?"
me : "you know, everyone has a gradual change and rapid improvement, while i'm sutck in a stagnation. i never moved anywhere. forgetful"
me : "do you know why do they become that awesome ?"
me : "They motivate themselves"
me : "And then ..."
me : "They study hard, work hard, never give up"
me : "do you think they deserve it"
me : "yes,of course"
me : "So why are u still in a stagnation, do u study as hard as them ? do u work as hard as them ?"
me : "i don't know , i just ..."
me : "what ? look, i just want u to know that u're a great man. u were better than them and u will "always better than them if only u want it. If only you can force yourself to work harder than them or at least as hard as them. Don't underestimate or hold yourself back when you find someone better than you. Learn from them."
me : "you know what ? i'm getting tired of motivating myself. i don't know what am i to do when everything that i do doesn't mean anything to anyone. People stop give me praises. I start to be invisible. If i could divide ourselves and make you become real, i think i will be stronger. But u're just a part of me."